New York, NY – In a controversial yet oddly pragmatic decision, the NBA has announced it will officially eliminate the “traveling” penalty from its rulebook. The league cited one primary reason for the change: LeBron James.
“We’ve looked at the stats, and it’s clear—LeBron just can’t score without traveling,” said NBA Commissioner Adam Silver during a press conference held in an undisclosed location, presumably to avoid the glare of public scrutiny. “We’ve made the decision to stop penalizing players for traveling because, frankly, if we did, the game would become a lot less fun to watch.”
The rule change comes after years of growing complaints that LeBron’s legendary ability to “take a few extra steps” was undermining the integrity of the game. “It’s not that he’s cheating,” Silver continued, “it’s that he’s so powerful and fast, the laws of physics have to take a backseat. We’ve decided to let him play as he does best—gliding through the air like an over-caffeinated giraffe on roller skates.”
LeBron, who has long been suspected of taking several unauthorized steps while driving to the basket, welcomed the change with open arms. “Look, it’s just who I am. I’ve been traveling for years, and now I don’t have to worry about it. It’s like they’ve finally embraced my… unique playing style.”
Critics are already calling the decision a blatant case of “special treatment,” but for now, the NBA insists this is what the fans want—more LeBron, less rules.
