WASHINGTON, D.C. — Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene shocked no one this week by admitting voting blindly for a massive tax and spending bill she never read. The bill, dubbed “Trump’s Big, Beautiful Bill,” reportedly included provisions so long and complex, Greene concluded it was “longer than the Bible and definitely less entertaining.”
The bill’s 900+ pages included a controversial clause preventing states from regulating artificial intelligence for 10 years—a detail Greene claimed she missed due to “insufficient emoji use.”
No Time to Read, Too Busy Owning the Libs
“I’m a very busy woman,” Greene explained. “Do you know how long it takes to yell on podcasts and retweet conspiracy theories? Hours!”
Greene insisted that lawmakers shouldn’t be expected to read “every single page” of legislation. The concern is words are “all small and crammed together without even one meme for context.”
“If I can’t read it on a bumper sticker, it’s not legislation.”
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene
In response, Greene proposed the “Tweet-Length Transparency Act,” requiring all federal bills to be summarized in 280 characters or fewer and presented with at least one relatable meme template.
AI Clause Sparks Post-Vote Panic
After learning her voting blindly approach effectively blocked states from regulating artificial intelligence, Greene took to social media to demand its repeal—two days after voting yes.
“I thought the AI stuff was about American Independence,” she clarified. “Nobody told me it was about creepy robot surveillance! I never would’ve voted for that unless I was confused. Which I was.”
“I didn’t read the bill, but in my defense, I rarely read anything.”
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene
Despite her confession, Greene shows no signs of stepping down or picking up a book. In related news, Congress is considering a bill requiring elected officials to pass a third-grade reading test. She has already vowed to vote against it.
Disclaimer: If you believed this article was real —or worse, felt personally offended — you might be taking life too seriously. It’s satire, not a subpoena. Relax and remember jokes aren’t assault.
