We’re Probably Ignoring You, But Give It a Shot Anyway
At Lampoon Times, we take reader feedback very seriously—then immediately ignore it. Whether you’re here to praise our genius, correct a fake fact, or threaten legal action (again), we’ve got a box for that.
Reasons to Contact Us:
- You believed one of our articles and want emotional damages.
- You want to write for us but have no idea how satire works.
- You’re a politician looking to complain anonymously through a burner email.
- You’re our mom checking if we’re still “doing that silly website thing.”
Ways to Get in Touch:
- Email: Goes straight to a cluttered inbox we check once a quarter.
- Phone: We technically have a phone. It’s in a drawer. With a dead battery.
- Mailing Address: Nope. We’ve gone fully digital because stamps are expensive and we’re dodging three subpoenas.
- Carrier Pigeon: Sure, but it’ll be eaten by the raccoons we hired for security.
Frequently Ignored Requests:
- “Take this article down immediately!”
- “Can you please stop making fun of billionaires?”
- “Hi, I’m with Meta’s fact-checking team…”
Response Time:
Somewhere between “immediately” and “never.” Try again during Mercury Retrograde.
Contact Form
If you actually want to reach us—whether it’s a pitch, feedback, collaboration idea, or a really solid pun—just fill out the form below. We promise someone (probably named “Intern Dave”) will read it. Eventually.